My child always say No!

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by high stress levels, compounded by the challenges your children present seemingly without reason?

Do not despair! You are not alone in experiencing these feelings as a parent.

It's crucial to understand that children also feel stress and 'misbehave', not out of malice, but because they are yearning for independence, autonomy and attention.

One effective method to address this is by refraining from asking direct questions or issuing demands to your child. Children, just like adults, crave independence and the ability to make their own choices. I for one would feel suffocated and have angry outbursts if I were to be told how to spend my entire day from first waking to sleep.

Unfortunately, we are the adults and there are basic things every day that need to be done to keep our children safe and healthy, but sometimes it feels impossible when they are refusing to comply with any of it. Thankfully, there is a way to navigate this challenge!

Children thrive on having options and choices, which can also help you manage your day more smoothly. Let me guide you through this process...

First and foremost, remove the opportunity for 'No' to present itself as an answer. It might be tricky at first as it is a new way of thinking but I guarantee you will notice changes in their behaviour and also in your relationship with them. This gives you the opportunity to be the loving parent you want to be while keeping healthy boundaries and a solid structure.

The best way to begin this process is to reflect on previous times when your child has refused to brush their teeth, eat dinner, put clothes on etc. Think about what words you used and how you presented them. Could you have given them options during these times instead of demands?

Offer your child choices that align with your needs. For instance, instead of asking, "Do you want dinner now?" try, "Do you want dinner now or in 5 minutes?" This simple adjustment allows both you and your child to get what you want.

If you left it too late for a 5 minute warning try saying, "Dinner is ready. Would you like to sit in this chair or that chair?"

Your child is at the playground having the time of their life. However you can see it is time to head home to have dinner and begin the evening routines. You know that deviating for too long makes bed time almost impossible. You could say 'Hey, it's been a fun day, it's time to go home now.' or you could give the illusion of choice and present some options for them: Shall we have one last play here for 5 minutes or shall we head home now? 'Do you think we should run home or do a silly walk?' Inject fun and sprinkle positivity.

Our children are here to challenge us to become better versions of ourselves. They have this natural ability to highlight our flaws. Most of us want to grow and it is for this reason we should be thankful for these moments which are designed to push us to reflect on our own behaviours and become better communicators, and ultimately become better versions of ourselves.